So first of all i would like to say hi…long time no write. I havent been writing in a long while but i have been reading. So lets get everything out of the way thanksgiving was good christmas was ok my new years was eventful and my bithday was awesome. I turned the big thirty and im happy to say that im proud to be thirty. Im very proud of all the achievements and mistakes because i learned from all of it. So i started a new job and i absolutely HATE it, maybe im not meant to work or maybe i just wont be satified until i get my degree and start doing what i want to do. School has been good, im learning new things and i have to ay im passing every one of my classes. I do get so tired because not only am i taking a full load of classes but im also working full time and it is tiring but i have realized that i am strong enough to do it. My husband is starting his own business so that is great. Im proud of him. The kids are well and everything is good. Life is good……
So….i went on vacation to try and clear my head and think about whats to come and how to handle it but that didnt work. Its like as soon as i got home i needed another vacation. But i got to spend a little quality time with my “Boo” and nobody was calling me my nickname which is “mommy” every thirty seconds. So i guess it was worth it. I start school on the 29th which is making me soo nervous. I want to do so great in school but i know i can only do what i can. I have a tendency to set the bar extremely high for myself and when i dont do as great as i hoped i disappoint myself. Does anybody else do that? I have inventory coming up at my job and thats like having two jobs– its exhausting. On alltop of this im getting MY kids ready for school and thats like going back to school all over again. Starting with pre-k. As i said a few sentences ago i set the bar extremely high on all aspects of my life and when i think i dont amount to them i disappoint my self. I get anxiety and even depression. This picture says it all i really need to just relax and take it as it comes but thats the price you pay when you want to be great. I even said i was going to blog more and that kind of went to shit. But this is something i love doing so im not going to quit. Anyway i just wanted to say thank you to all of the people following me. You are great dont let anybody tell you differently. I appreciate you. Im still moving still making progress and at the end of the day thats all that matters. I hope this post spoke to you in any kind of way.
#making progress#stillmoving foward#weallhaveproblems#imhereifyouneedtotalk
On my last post, I said that I am all about encouraging people especially women, and letting them know that no matter there age, religion, ethnicity, or sexual preference; that they can do anything that they want. It doesn’t matter what it is whether you aspire to be the next president or a you have always just wanted to be a housewife. It doesn’t matter what all that matters it that you go out there and strive to get it. At this point in my life I never imagined that I would be where I am now. At this point in life I am writing more I have own blog and even with the few followers that I have I am still very grateful for. Side note: Thanks for following me and let more people know about me. I am getting into photography, another side note: pictures coming very soon. I am also going back to school which I am very serious about. With all this said and it was a lot I do have a point, which is go out there and grab life by the horns and tame that bitch! Sorry about the language but it had to be said. I wish more women and men especially the young adults would just strive to be the best you can be. With that’s going on in the world why not go out and try to do and be everything that you can. I am one of those people that think life is too short to not be happy. If right now you are in a relationship that you are not happy with, leave it was not meant to be anyway. If you are in a job that you just hate and you are not happy, leave there is too much going in the world to be some where that you can not stand going to. If you have people constantly telling you that you can’t do this or you can’t do that go out there and prove them wrong. I love proving people wrong especially those that say I can’t do a certain thing. Guess what I go out there and do it and come back and shoe them that I did but not only that I did it but I succeeded and conquered in it. I love doing that so tell me I can’t, I will and probably do it better that you did. So if you are reading this and have any doubts about anything remove them doubts from your mind and go out there and do it don’t let anybody say NO YOU CAN’T! Laugh in there face and tell them you can. I do it all the time it’s quite liberating when I do and even more liberating when I actually go and do and return with proof. So what are you doing with your life? If the answer is I don’t know then go out there and do something. There is too many people out here wandering around not knowing what to do in life.
So, i come in to work and me and my store manager has a conversation. We usually converse about many things but this particular converation really left me wondering and thinking. She tells me that like myself she wants to one day own her own business,which is great. She knows what she wants to do and how she wants to do. I then tell her have you thought about going back to school to which she replied yes, but i hate school. So me being the person that i am go completely into encouraging mode and i tell her: yes school is not a thing that people just want to do but in the end school is there for you to get where you want to go. There has been so many times that i wanted to go back to school but just hate the fact that it is school. I could not wait to get out of high school but i knew in the back of my mind that high school is here to get where i want to go. There are alot of people out there that want to do so much and have the ability to do it but just dont have that drive to do it and by “it” i mean school. Listen people school is where you need to go to get where you want to be. It does not matter your age, background, or what other people say. This ultimately is a decision thats all on you. So if you have to go back to school and get that degree that you want. Go put time into that mediocre job to get the experience that you need. I feel that we are all great in our own way and you just need that little encouragement that nobody else is giving to make that jump. I want to tell you especially if you are one of those people reading this right now that you can do it. You have that potential and that greatness.you can do anything thing in this world. This is “life” and everybody needs encouragement sometimes. Im sending all the good vibes and all the good juju that you need right now. So if you have something that you want to do in life and feel like you can’t well im here to tell you that you can. I feel like everybody is fixated on the next person not doing better then them well what if all of us came together and encouraged each other to go out and do better. This world would be a better place because of it. So go out there and live, do, be great.
First of all, I want to say that I am outraged by all the murders that are going on in my life time- and I say MURDER because that is exactly what it is. So you are telling me now that if I or my black husband or my black children get pulled over for something as simple as a traffic ticket I have to fear being murdered because they see us as a threat when will this stop who will take a stand for what is right? This bothers me to my very core to see this on facebook or news that our people are being gunned down and I don’t know about you but I am angry. This bothered me so bad I was at work and called my husband and told him if he gets pulled over to get his phone and record it first and to make no sudden or quick movements. You mean to tell me that I have to call my brothers and people I know to tell them to be careful because they are gunning us down. I never thought my children our I would have to live through something like this. I am so angry and hurt that they are doing this to us-our people. I wasn’t going to speak about this but I feel I should. The very ones that are suppose to serve and protect us are killing us. I ask WHY? Why is it that I have to call and tell my husband or brother or cousin and anyone I know to be careful when the police pulls you over. Why is it that I fear for the life of my brothers and sisters, friends and family. Why is it that my kids are being raised in this moment. Why is it that I am in fear everytime I see the police. This has to stop and this has to stop now. I do not want to tell my kids about this world. I want them to keep there innocence. This is just the thing I have to tell them that. I have to tell them that this world is a crazy world and you have to protect yourself and against police and other people. This hurts me to the bottom of m soul. So this is my challenge to you everytime you see the police put your hands up and let them know that there is nothing to fear. Raise you hands and let them know that your life matters
I write because there is this voice in me that can only be heard through words on a paper. I write because talking is not enough. To really get my feelings and thoughts on a piece of paper is liberating. Writing takes me to a whole different place. When im sad i write and i become happy. When im angry i write and i become fantastic. When i write the only thing that understands me at that very moment is that pen and paper. I write because why do anything else. Writing makes me think, writing makes me learn, writing makes me understand, writing helps me through emotions that i feel or have never felt before writing liberates me. When im writing the paper is my is the person i grew up with and im telling all my secrets too. Writing is the only way i can express my self openly and i know that paper is not going to judge me. Writing is a way of helping me through everday life because that piece of paper is my therapist.
I have become really into photography lately mostly black and white photo’s. I think they are beautiful and amazing at the same time. So I got a professional camera and started to take photo’s. A lot of photo’s actually. I will be taking and uploading them here on my blog in the near future. Let me know what you think. I am brand spanking new to this so please be kind, but also let me really know what you really think. I’m getting into photography because I believe it is a way to express yourself without words. I really like the idea of this. The thought of actually telling a story without saying anything is really personable and mysteries to me. I don’t know about other people but I do have a hard time expressing myself sometimes and I find that this is a really wonderful way to do that not only writing but also taking a picture in that one moment that I am feeling sad or happy or angry or depressed or I could be feeling fantastic and you will know that in a one photo. So this is why I am going to start this wonderful thing and really start getting serious about this blog. Bear with me though because I am a little bit busy at times so it might not be everyday but it will be every week something new is going to be on here. Have a wonderful day and remember this is my life your life and everyone else’s, so lets help each other get through this!